There is no such thing as a troubled kid. There are only troubled parents! If you are going to raise healthy-minded teenagers, you must first work at your own weakness. Facing your impatience suddenly makes you realize that your child is not the problem, you are.
What does this mean? Don’t ever underestimate a two and three year old child. They are highly intelligent beings with most of their awareness intact which makes your job either easier or harder, depending on your levels of love and patience. Toddlers are our teachers because they can’t necessarily explain their frustration. Your job is not to run to soothe their fits, your job is to be completely objective and let that fleeting moment go by without guilt, anger, or frustration, and calmly seek their real need—if any.
I like to look at parenting as owning a business. The kids are clients and must be dealt with in a business-like way. Find the disconnect. Don’t identify with your child’s pain. Stand back and let calmness and patience be the factors that your child finds in the millions of moments of need. Be all business with warmth in your behavior towards your child.
Children feel the security in your calm, and security is really what children need to feel grounded. The rest is easy.
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